Anxiety

Just looked at writing workshop websites (oh, sweet alliteration! I don't care that you're untrendy and uncouth - you always make me feel clever, like the first couple of questions in game shows), and it gave me massive pangs of anxiety.

This is either because it is what I want to do and I am filled with dread of failure and shortcomings and of actually diving back into what i failed to do before OR it's a divine sign (from my stomach where, incidentally, all my- limited!- wisdom lies) that I should not bother with the writing.

Note - two of my most embarrassing failures to date are the two novels I have started and gotten about a third way into. Embarrassing, because I very rarely admit to myself that I really want something, and I very rarely commit to doing anything. I did, with one of em, and I got nowhere. I barely wrote, and I now lug moleskin upon moleskin of notes around with me when I move, a ballast of both failure and hope for improvement.

At least writing about Operation Adulthood is going smoothly. Small mercies!